Capt. Sig Hansen Doctors Told Me No Cigs or Sex ... 1 Out of 2 Ain't Bad!

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"Deadliest Catch" star Captain Sig Hansen is calling it quits after suffering a heart attack -- that's right, no more cigarettes ... or at least, fewer of them.

The famous crabber came on "TMZ Live" to talk about his recovery from that heart attack he suffered last week while at sea. Sig says it was a huge wake up call and he's seriously trying to quit his smoking habit.

Cameras were rolling when Sig fell unconscious and we're told it will be part of the show's 12th season which starts later this month on Discovery.

But watch the clip ... he's not so down to cut sex out of his life -- as doctors recommended, temporarily. You gotta see why Sig's even got beef with the little blue pills docs slipped him.

Michael C. Hall Los Feliz Home Sold ... No Kill Room Found

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Michael C. Hall just made a cool mil off the Spanish colonial home he owned for barely 3 years.

The "Dexter" star listed his 6 bedroom, 6 bath home for $4.85 million in February and it sold almost instantly ... and once you see the place you'll understand why.

The 5,618 sq foot pad sits on a hillside in a sought after part of the Los Feliz 'hood ... not far from L.A.'s Griffith Park.

There's a pool, a separate guest house and a 3 car garage. The home's interior has been updated, but still has arched windows and wood-beamed ceilings.

Little advice -- don't check behind the air conditioning unit. "Dexter" fans know what we mean.

50 Cent's Attorney He's Gotta Flash Cash ... 'Rap Fans Are Poor'

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50 Cent only flashes stacks of fake money because his fans are flat broke, and they NEED to see Fiddy flossing like a mogul ... at least that's what his attorneys said in court.

We got audio of Wednesday's bankruptcy hearing -- which was filed with the court -- and you can hear 50 Cent's legal team trying to explain his social media strategy. As they put it ... "He has to keep up his image for the fans. Rap fans, they're poor and they want their idols to be rich and something to look up to."

Listen, there's more ... about how 50's caught between bankruptcy and keeping up appearances.

Of course, his fans might not even hear this ... if they can't afford an Internet connection.

Don McLean's Wife Kiss My American Pie Goodbye ... Files For Divorce

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Don McLean's wife is singing bye bye Mr. "American Pie" ... she's filed to divorce him following the alleged domestic violence blowup at the their home in January.

Pat filed the docs in Maine on Thursday citing "adultery, cruel and abusive treatment, and irreconcilable differences."

This one isn't the least bit shocking ... considering a judge ordered Don to stay away from Pat following his arrest for the alleged 4 hour domestic assault. Pat said she thought she was going to die during the incident.

The couple was married for 30 years.

Khloe Kardashian Russell & Ciara's No Sex Vow ... Makes No Sense

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WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO PROVE?!

Khloe Kardashian is making it clear she's no fan of keeping it in your pants ... suggesting Russell Wilson and Ciara's celibacy pact is a stunt for the public.

Khloe was chopping it up on her FYI show "Kocktails With Khloe" when she went in on Russell and Ciara's pledge of no nookie until marriage ... implying their pledge was more for image than religion.

The comments are super interesting considering Ciara and Khloe's big sis Kim have been friends for YEARS ... even having play dates between North and Ciara's baby son, Future.

Check out the clip -- the shade is sooooo real.

Yanet Garcia I Didn't Get Butt Implants ... It's Muy Autentico

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Yanet Garcia, aka world's sexiest weatherwoman, is coming to her own defense denying her most famous asset got bigger overnight because of new implants.

Yanet tells TMZ she hasn't had any work done on her trunk as many of her fans -- she has 1.6 million on Instagram alone -- believed after she posted a clip of herself doing her weather thing in a tight black dress.

Yanet is chalking up the rumors to camera angles, which she's definitely a pro at working to her advantage.

If her butt did get bigger Yanet says it's because she exercises regularly. #GirlsWhoSquat

Elin Nordegren & BF I'm Great On Moguls ... Good at Skiing Too

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Elin Nordegren's tycoon boyfriend Chris Cline has earned his stripes with Tiger Woods' ex-wife ... in a BIG billionaire way.

The two jetted off for a ski trip to St. Moritz, Switzerland -- it's where the rich go to ski -- and looked real cozy on the mountain ... after arriving by helicopter!

36-year-old Elin met Chris, who's 21 years older, when she started building her post-divorce, mega-mansion in Palm Beach ... right next to his beachfront palace. They split in 2014, but got back together late last year.

You know what they say -- couples who ski together, do NOT golf together ... especially with their exes.

Donald Trump Rally White Man Punches Black Protester ... Cops Make Arrest

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A Donald Trump protester -- who happens to be black -- got knocked to his ass by a white Trump supporter, and now cops have arrested the attacker ... TMZ has learned.

The video from the Wednesday rally in Fayetteville, NC shows an unidentified supporter in a cowboy hat totally sucker punch a protester who was already being escorted out of the venue.

Officers, who observed the hit, reacted quickly, but slammed the protester down on the ground -- not the puncher.

We've learned police did not arrest the victim, but did kick him out of the event. As for the punching cowboy -- we've learned he's 78-year-old John McGraw, and he's currently in police custody. According to cops, McGraw voluntarily came in Thursday morning to be interviewed ... and that's when he was arrested.

We're told he's being booked for assault and disorderly conduct. He's scheduled to appear in court April 6.

This is what happens when you get "escorted" out of a Donald J. Trump rally....note to self, you have to see how the Cumberland County Sheriffs Dept does Keem Jones after a supporter punches him in the face...

Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill We Got Puppy Love ... Even Under House Arrest

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Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill put all the breakup rumors to rest ... and maybe created some new buzz with one freaky social media post.

Nicki showed up on Meek's Snapchat Wednesday night -- the video looks like it's shot in his bedroom and he's definitely shirtless ... which means day 9 of house arrest seemed to go pretty well for Meek.

Meek's been on lockdown since the beginning of March. We're told Nicki flew to Philly on Wednesday morning. As we told you ... the couple had a blowout after she refused to move to Philly for the duration of Meek's 90-day sentence.

Nicki's about to do a tour in South Africa so they're obviously making nice -- doggy style -- before she hits the road.

Carrie Underwood To Have One's Birthday Cake ... And Eat It Too?

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Carrie Underwood is celebrating her 33rd birthday while on the road, but a fan made sure she didn't miss out on the festivities.

Carrie was leaving a "BBC Breakfast" interview Thursday in London when a fan surprised her with a cake outside the studios. She seemed to love the sweet gesture ... but chances the country superstar actually bit into it are slim.

As they say ... never take candy from a stranger. Same goes for cake or pie.

Derek Fisher I Didn't Fight Matt Barnes ... I Was Attacked

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Derek Fisher is breaking his silence on his violent altercation with Matt Barnes -- claiming he wouldn't call it a fight ... because he was ATTACKED and refused to fight back.

Lisa Ling to Caitlyn Jenner Walk in Those Heels Longer Before You Shade Hillary Clinton

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Lisa Ling is taking a huge shot at Caitlyn Jenner for shading presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.

We asked Lisa, a staunch Hillary supporter, about Caitlyn's comment on her show ... that Hillary cares more about herself than other women.

Caitlyn got all political during the season 2 premiere of "I Am Cait" -- but Lisa thinks Jenner needs to step out of the political arena ... at least where Hillary's concerned.

Watch ... she doesn't just throw shade, she attacks Caitlyn's womanhood.

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SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WOMEN!

Katt Williams' GF I'm Done with the Drama ... Guns at My Chest Just Too Much!!

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Getting raided by cops at gunpoint is where Katt Williams' chick draws the line -- Hazel-E says she's getting out while the getting's good.

We got Hazel at LAX, right after she got off a plane from Georgia ... and she made it clear she and the oft-arrested comedian are officially "on a break."

You gotta see her describe Katt's latest bust -- the "Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood" star was in the house Tuesday when cops showed up to arrest him for allegedly attacking one of his bodyguards.

Hazel addressed the big question everyone's asking: What the HELL is wrong with Katt lately?

Check out her take -- even ride or die chicks have their limits.

Justin Bieber Wet & Shirtless in Seattle to Start Tour

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Justin Bieber lived up to the hype for his "Purpose" world tour by performing topless, in the rain, on a trampoline and ON one of his dancers ... oh, and he sang some too.

Bieber kicked things off at Seattle's KeyArena with a 90 minute set that featured a torrential downpour which prompted the Biebs to whip off his shirt. The kid knows what sells.

Aside from his songs -- he opened with "Mark My Words" and closed with "Sorry" -- he also wowed the crowd with trampoline acrobatics above the audience.

Rob Kardashian Shirtless Cookout with Blac Chyna

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THE BODY REVEAL

Rob Kardashian's confidence is back ... and we know this because his shirt was gone during a backyard hang with Blac Chyna.

Rob stepped outside half naked ... giving us a first glimpse at his bod since he started his diet and fitness regimen. Chyna shot video of him Wednesday afternoon as he peered down at her grilling a ton of grub.

As we first reported ... Rob's already down at least 40 pounds, but it's been hard to notice, since he's still sporting a lot of baggy clothing.

At this rate ... muscle tanks gotta be right around the corner. Spring is coming, Rob!

Justin Bieber Drink and Ditch ... On Pricey Scotch Tab

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Justin Bieber is not as smooth as Tennessee whiskey -- or scotch for that matter -- because he bailed on a $130 bar tab after a heated exchange that nearly turned into a bar brawl.

Justin kicked off his tour in Seattle Wednesday night, but on Sunday night he and 7 pals hit up The Whisky Bar and ordered a round of shots. Sources at the bar tell us they asked for a mid-range blend and got GlenDronach ... a 12-year-old single malt scotch, $15 per shot.

We're told the group went out for a smoke and never came back to pay the bill, but they were all caught on surveillance cams.

One member of JB's entourage tells us trouble started when a female fan wanted a pic, but was denied by one of Bieber's dancers. That's when a guy with her got pissed, and started yelling and making a scene. We're told Justin's group decided it was best to get outta Dodge before a fight started.

Our source says one of Justin's bodyguards was supposed to pay, but obviously didn't in the chaos. We're told they settled up with the bar Wednesday night.

Bottoms up.