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UFC stars Nate and Nick Diaz are rank amateurs in the Octagon of ganja, according to no less an expert than Bob Marley's son ... who's offering to help the bros go pro, mon.

Margaret Cho pissed off an entire comedy club, sparking fights as she went off about being a rape victim, and ripped into white audience members.

TMZ obtained the video shot at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, NJ Saturday night ... and you can hear the crowd is restless and angry. Witnesses tell us Cho started her set with a "debbie downer" discussion of her rape, Garry Shandling's death ... and white people having it so easy.

We're told she also made several gay jokes, and at least one such punchline led to 2 men in the audience fighting.

When much of the crowd had enough, they broke for the exit. As one angry customer put it, "This is comedy before Easter?? Rape, rape, rape?"

We're told Cho called some of the people bailing, racists and overprivileged white people. She blurted out, "You will never get a cent of the money back that you paid."

We've reached out to Cho and her team, but no response yet. On Twitter, she blamed the mess on jet lag ... but felt there was nothing wrong with talking rape during her routine.

Lorde picked up a tail at Lady Gaga's birthday party -- Nick Jonas was sticking close, as the singers left the bash together.

We're sure they were just looking out for the environment by carpooling Saturday night at No Name Club, They both looked so determined to ... save fuel.

We're not saying they hooked up -- however, 19-year-old Lorde and 23-year-old Nick are a lot closer in age than his on/off GF Kate Hudson.

Speaking of resurrection ... Lamar Odom was back with Khloe Kardashian and the rest of the family for Easter church service.

Khloe and Lamar strolled into church looking like the married couple they still are -- and toting Kourtney's kids, Mason and Penelope too. Khloe's vowed to help nurse LO back to a full recovery.

As we first reported, they did steak dinner together just a couple days ago.

Dave Chappelle lit up Caitlyn Jenner during his sold-out show in Hollywood while Kylie Jenner and Tyga watched from VIP seats ... but only one of 'em was laughing.

Sources inside Dave's epic 3rd night at the Palladium say he spent at least 6-7 minutes talking first about Bruce Jenner ... saying he was old enough to remember Bruce as a "Superman" who was "beating Africans" in track and field back in the 70s.

He said he knew there was a change coming though after a run-in with Kanye West. "I said, Kanye ... why the long face? And Kanye replied, 'Man, you'll see.'"

We're told that line brought the house down, and even Tyga laughed -- but Kylie kept a straight face through the entire bit. Hard to say if she was actually pissed, but she definitely wasn't LOL.

As they left, Tyga was still grinning. Kylie ... not so much.

Ciara and Russell Wilson took Baby Future to Disneyland, but it looked -- and sounded -- like Russell was the one really enjoying it.

An ex "Buckwild" star is behind bars for the holiday -- finally serving her sentence for a DWI arrest from nearly 2 years ago.

Law enforcement sources tell us Ashley Whitt turned herself in to the Pitt County Detention Center on Friday to begin her 30 day stretch in the lockup. Cops busted her in Greenville, NC back in May 2014.

It's unclear why the case took so long to be resolved.

A lots changed since Ashley's big MTV debut back in 2013. Or maybe not much at all ...

Chrissy Teigen had a full baby shower turn up ... thanks to Kim Kardashian's camera and her wandering hands.

Kim documented almost every moment inside the ladies only (plus John Legend) bash Saturday -- which featured tons of Mickie D's grub, dancing and a healthy amount of boob flaunting and grabbing.

Khloe, Kourtney, Kris Jenner and Jenna Dewan were also there -- but pay attention to this video, ladies. Guys WILL attend this kind of baby shower!

Lucky man, that John Legend.

Oh, say can you see Dr. Drew Pinsky -- mild-mannered radio and TV doctor -- singing like Boccelli, Domingo or Pavarotti??

Of course you can't, but turns out Dr. Drew really does have musical chops ... and he used 'em to belt out the Star Spangled Banner at last night's L.A. Kings game in Staples Center.

When Drew took to the ice, you could tell the crowd was a little shocked. But the good doc -- who's now hosting "Dr. Drew Midday Live with Mike Catherwood" on KABC radio -- tells us he's always loved singing.

He took vocal lessons during college, and even though he never lived out his opera dreams ... he kept training while practicing medicine.

Check it out, he even nailed that last note -- the one that makes you cringe 'cause you're never sure if the person can do it.

Katt Williams' downward spiral has scared his loved ones so much they want him hospitalized ... but the comedian thinks it's just a ploy to get his cash.

Katt tells us his "so-called family" has turned up the heat on him to get professional help, after a video surfaced that showed him getting into it with a 17-year-old. Katt grouses his family's been trying to get him hospitalized for years ... but only because they're a bunch of "broke bitches."

Katt's suspicions have grown to the point he fired his entire team ... a team he says has been fleecing him.

The family begs to differ, claiming Katt needs help. A source close to Katt tells us the comedian is so off the rails, he was found naked and covered in chocolate when cops raided his house earlier this month.

Miley Cyrus can't win 'em all ... she took an L in a family feud at Madison Square Garden, 'cause she was stupid brave enough to back the Knicks.

Miley and older sis Brandi Cyrus sat courtside for the Knicks-Cavs game ... getting some extreme closeups of LeBron James. Despite the Knicks sucking hard this year (they lost by 14 last night) Miley rocked a Kristaps Porzingis' #6 t-shirt.

Brandi knew best this time, since she sported a King James jersey. Still, give the freshly minted 'Voice' judge partial credit for sticking with Godzingis.

Lady Gaga kissed off her 20s with a huge birthday party that had tons of celebs, a gift made by Michael Jackson and Gaga herself belting out tunes.

LG turns 30 on Monday and she celebrated at No Name Club in Hollywood ... along with Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, Kate Hudson, Pharrell, Chrissy Teigen & John Legend, Lisa Vanderpump and Kathy Bates ... to name just a few.

Check out the video ... everyone raved about the party and Gaga's performance -- which she clearly wanted on the DL, since no video's popped up yet.

Best gift of the night goes to whoever showed up with a famous 1990 MJ sketch called, "Dancing Feet." Michael reportedly made a few of these ... one of which sold in 2010 for nearly $25k!

She's got friends in high places.

Jennifer Garner rolled up her sleeves and got dirty ... for Easter's sake, even though her kids were nowhere in sight.

Jen took a little time to dip some eggs, and her fingers, into a self-painting setup in an L.A. park on Saturday ... while running a bunch of errands. The hands-on mom looked extremely pleased with her pastel choices.

In your face, Bunny!

"Dancing with the Stars" contestant Nyle DiMarco is keeping time just fine on the dance floor -- even though he's deaf -- with a hand from his partner.

We got this video of 'DWTS' pro Peta Murgatroyd and the 'Top Model' champ rehearsing, and she shows off their secret to keeping the beat. It's really impressive on Nyle's part!

The duo tied for the top score on this week's premiere, and based on this ... looks like they're gonna nail it again next week.