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Comedian King Keraun's not buying Joel Osteen's explanation for closing his megachurch's doors in Houston's time of need ... especially because Houston puts so much in his offering plates.

Osteen's Lakewood Church says flooded roads have made the church -- which could shelter nearly 17,000 people -- inaccessible. But Keraun, who says he's helped 12 people escape flooding on his own, says this disaster will prove who's really down for his hometown ... and, in his book, the early scorecard doesn't look good for Rev. O.

Keraun had some intense moments around Houston Monday, and told us he's desperately trying to get to trapped family members. If Osteen, or anyone else, has a boat ... Keraun's in the market.

In-N-Out is going all animal (style) on Smashburger for peddling a burger it considers triple the cheese, and double the theft ... so In-N-Out's suing.

In-N-Out just filed suit against its burger rival for allegedly jacking their double-double, triple-triple and quad-quad concepts, and tweaked it with their own version -- 3 cheese slices and 2 patties, or as they call it ... the Triple Double.

I-N-O acknowledges it didn't specifically trademark the name Triple Double -- although it claims its patrons are known to customize orders with similar terms. But in the suit, it says Smash's move is causing confusion in the marketplace and screwing with their burger biz.

We've reached out to Smash for comment ... so far, no word back.

Here are the Miss BumBum Brazil 2017 contestants gagged and bound to trees -- but it's for a good cause ... and not the one running around your head.

The models posed to raise Amazon awareness on the heels of Brazil's President giving mining companies access to a nature reserve in the rain forest.

This seems like a peaceful protest we can all get behind.

Chris Paul is putting his money where his mouth is -- writing $75,000 in checks to help those affected by Hurricane Harvey.

The NBA star -- who was just traded to the Houston Rockets -- heeded charity calls from both J.J. Watt and Kevin Hart.

Watt confirmed CP3 donated $50k to the Houston Flood Relief Fund -- putting the NFL star over his initial fundraising goal of $500,000.

Kevin Hart had also challenged celebs to donate to the American Red Cross -- and Paul stepped up with a $25,000 donation.

Together, J.J. and Kev have raised more than $850k toward flood relief.

Good work, fellas.

"Pretty Little Liars" star Brandon Jones will be doing some jail time after all in his gun case, but it won't be for nearly as long as it could've been ... TMZ has learned.

The L.A. County DA tells TMZ Brandon pled no contest Monday to one count of misdemeanor assault with a firearm in his gun case from last year and was sentenced to 180 days in jail.

We broke the story ... Brandon was originally facing 5 and a half years in prison for allegedly pulling a gun on a neighbor during an argument he got into with the guy.

Brandon was also sentenced to 3 years probation, 30 days of community labor and 26 anger management classes in the plea deal.

Not even Andrew got it this bad on the show.

Joel Osteen's 17,000-seat Lakewood Church in Houston isn't opening its doors for rescue efforts because floodwaters just won't allow it ... according to the church.

The mega-televangelist is catching flak for tweeting about his hometown flood, but not doing anything to help out -- especially because his megachurch could shelter thousands of people displaced by the rising water.

Church officials say this one's out of Joel's hands though -- and point out the streets surrounding the church are already so flooded ... Lakewood is inaccessible.

The church used to be the Compaq Center sports arena, and sits along a highway ... part of which is currently under water. The floodwater wasn't clear in a photo tweeted Monday morning.

Nev Schulman said it loud and proud ... he's Jewish, and wore the yellow Star of David to the VMAs to make sure his fans know he's standing up against white supremacists.

We got the 'Catfish' host Monday at LAX as he was leaving town after the VMAs, and he explained he wore the symbolic emblem specifically as a response to people marching with Nazi flags ... in America.

Nev said the Holocaust wasn't that long ago, and celebs should wear the Star to remind their fans.

He gave a nod to Billy Joel for doing it recently in concert and encouraged others to follow suit.

The Weeknd was a no-show at the VMAs this weekend, and the reason isn't all that complicated ... he just didn't feel like it.

Abel left a lot of people high and dry ... the MTV folks announced he'd perform. He was also nominated for 4 awards.

Here's how it was put to us ... The Weeknd's been on the road for a prolonged period of time and just didn't feel up to his VMAs gig. In his mind, he booked the gig a while ago, before concert fatigue set in, and he just felt differently in the days before the show.

It's the second Weeknd event that got torpedoed in as many days. The rubber is about to meet the road, because he's about to hit the road again and there won't be a break until December ... at least a scheduled break.

Selena Gomez's Instagram account just got hacked ... and whoever's behind it immediately posted nude photos of her ex, Justin Bieber.

A post from Selena's official IG account went up Monday showing 3 paparazzi pics of Bieber flashing his penis ... with a caption that read "LOOK AT THIS N***A LIL SHRIMPY."

The alleged hackers included their IG handles and claimed they "run da scene."

The accounts appear to belong to 3 random Internet trolls who only have a handful of posts, and thousands of followers between them.

Charlamagne tha God is done parsing words when it comes to white supremacists, and wants white people to join him in calling out "white devils" and "cracker-ass crackers."

We got the 'Breakfast Club' co-host at LAX Monday after the VMAs ... where he spoke to Susan Bro, mother of Charlottesville victim Heather Heyer. Susan joined Rev. Robert Wright Lee IV -- a descendant of confederate General Robert E. Lee -- to denounce racism during the VMAs.

Charlamagne told us what made Susan and Robert's speeches more powerful. He added, it's time to stop sugarcoating white supremacy and call it like it is. Words matter and he's got a few choice ones for the so-called "alt-right."

Demi Lovato is becoming a much more dangerous person -- she just earned her blue belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu ... after training her ass off for the past year.

The blue belt is one level above white belt -- and 3 levels away from being a black belt.

The singer was awarded her new rank Monday at Jay Glazer's Unbreakable Gym in L.A. -- where she's spent the past 12 months grappling with MMA superstars like Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture.

Glazer -- who owns the gym -- flew back to town specifically to present Lovato with the new belt and tweeted, "I'm more proud of the work [Demi] puts in with nobody watching than i am what she does with the world watching."

"Congrats on achieving your blue belt today in #bjj, YOU put the grind in!"

Most blue belts usually train for about 2 years before moving up to the next level, purple belt.

It's been a helluva past few days for Demi -- from belting out the national anthem for the Mayweather/McGregor fight to performing for the VMAs ... and now this.

With great power ...

LeBron James says Conor McGregor was "tough as a motherf**ker" during the Mayweather fight -- and joked there's no way in hell he coulda gone 10 rounds with TBE.

TMZ Sports was right outside the T-Mobile Arena when we spotted Bron and Cavs teammate J.R. Smith breaking down the fight.

LeBron: "You gotta respect [McGregor]."

Smith: "The thing is he came out strong in the beginning of every round. He burnt himself out."

LeBron: "You gotta respect him though because he ain't no boxer. Tough as a motherf**ker though."

Smith's retort was hilarious -- "Sh*t, give me $30 million! I'd be tough too for 30 minutes!"

LeBron: "I'm dropping in the 1st round. I ain't lasting 10."

"Straight Outta Compton" star Jason Mitchell's insane meltdown was ignited by an eavesdropping passenger -- who was in the first class seat ... Jason wanted so badly.

TMZ obtained new video of the crazy scene which shows Mitchell actually sitting in the economy seat to which he got bumped. Jason was on his phone telling someone about his ordeal, and a first class passenger overheard and apparently made a comment. That's when Jason erupted on the guy -- "Am I talking to you? F**king racist!"

As a flight attendant approached, things got more intense with Jason screaming, "I'll bat the f**k outta you! Unless you sitting next to children or anything else."

Amazingly, he calmed down after that, took his seat and promised to be good. In the video you see him put on his headphones and chill -- but when a Delta staffer announced he had to deplane so police could deal with Jason ... the rage returned.

As we first reported ... Delta says Mitchell had missed his original flight -- for which he had a first class seat -- and was flying standby. Police eventually detained him, but Delta refused to press charges.

Kevin Hart is donating $25k for the Hurricane Harvey relief effort, which is awesome ... but he's also calling out specific celebrities to match his gift, which is not necessarily awesome.

Hart calls out The Rock, Steve Harvey, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Jerry Seinfeld, putting the spotlight on them to get busy and donate.

Aside from shaming them, there's another problem ... some celebrities want to make charitable donations without publicity. This kind of forces their hand to go public when they view charity as something they do because they want to ... not for publicity.

Taylor Swift's new music video wasn't the only thing worth looking at during last night's MTV Video Music Awards ... check out what was going down backstage.

Rappers were hanging out with pop stars ... Katy Perry was doing crazy costume changes and Ellen was posing for pics with EVERYBODY!